life lately

Andrew and I have been married for six months today. Time doesn’t fly – it feels like six years already.  KIDDING!…… Or am I?  Love you, my light.

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I was rear-ended by two cars in town the other day.  Car accidents are the worst.  Luckily I was unharmed, and my car has only a crack and a couple of scratches… but still. Whiplash, insurance claims, police statements, ADMIN.  I am not good at admin.

My colleague returns on Monday from her four week trip to Australia.  I cannot wait to have her back for coffee and chats in the morning and general fun in the office.  Also, she really is good at that admin stuff mentioned above.  Mands, sorry in advance for the crap pile on your desk.

Our water pump on the farm is officially broken, which means no water until Monday evening while we wait for the parts from Johannesburg to arrive.  Rhodes University and Grahamstown is also currently struggling with water issues, though I think there’s may be more due to badly managed municipalities than broken pumps. Sort your shit out EC.

This blog post has gone viral, especially in America.  Peeps are sharing it left right and centre – thank you.  I know Facebook is losing a bit of merit at the moment (especially with their introduction of hashtags and trending – I mean, can someone smell a copy RAT??) but we still need to appreciate the massive sharing capabilities of the Facebizzle timeline. Thank you for spreading the word.

Speaking of THAT blog post, I eventually found the C. Warnke who write that beautiful passage.  He in on Twitter and Tumblr and check, check guys: he replied to my message with DANKIE! What a legend. I wonder if he has any South African blood in him or just knows how to use google translate.  Either way, I’m impressed.

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Have dealt with some really rude people this week at work and on the interwebs. Makes you just want to smash something (or them. In the face. With a chainsaw). But I just breathe. And do Yoga.

I reached 700 followers on Twitter this week (hi to all my new American readers and followers – hope you enjoy my little piece of South Africa – you should totally come visit our country and bring your dollas with you :D seriously.) and I’ve also met some of my readers in real life too!  It’s so nice to have people you’ve never met before recognize you and come up and tell you that they enjoy reading your ramblings. You guys make my earth rotate. Thank you!!!!!

I ordered my first laptop. Which I will pay for by myself, through a debit order with FNB every month. Yoh, I am GROWING UP. I also paid for my first car service this month. That was slightly more painful than ordering the laptop.  I can’t wait to write and create on this thing of beauty. And yes, it’s a MacBook.  After this purchase, I will have officially MacApple’d my life.

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Also, just to let you know that it’s CHEAPER to order a tablet, phone or computer through FNB and pay it off over 24 months interest-free than buying it from the shop.  Believe me, I did my research.  It was cheaper even than my mom-in-law buying it in England and bringing it over for me next month.  So, if you’re not with FNB, you should be.

This weekend I have no plans other than a massage with Colleen at Midlands House of Healing and my flower girl’s fourth birthday party.  There will be lots of reading, relaxing, sleeping, walking, and of course, yoga.  Have a great one my lovelies!

With love xxx

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why you should date an illiterate girl

My mom sent me this passage yesterday along with the message: I am so happy that you have read so much. Make your own dreams.

The following passage explains why reading is so very important.  Why immersing yourself in fictions and biographies is so essential to cultivating a life beyond the ordinary.  If you have been to far-off cities and lands in the stories you read, you will expect no less in your own life.  You will want to taste the pleasures you have read about, to see the landscapes you have imagined in your mind’s eye and to breathe the freedom in your dreams.  Read because it will help you judge a person’s character far better than any lesson you learned on the playground. Read to develop empathy for others and a sense of justice on a planet gone mad. Read because once you start to fully understand how people tick and how life works, you will have the tools to change your own world for the better.

***

You should date an illiterate girl.

Date a girl who doesn’t read. Find her in the weary squalor of a Midwestern bar. Find her in the smoke, drunken sweat, and varicolored light of an upscale nightclub. Wherever you find her, find her smiling. Make sure that it lingers when the people that are talking to her look away. Engage her with unsentimental trivialities. Use pick-up lines and laugh inwardly. Take her outside when the night overstays its welcome. Ignore the palpable weight of fatigue. Kiss her in the rain under the weak glow of a streetlamp because you’ve seen it in a film. Remark at its lack of significance. Take her to your apartment. Dispatch with making love. Fuck her.

Let the anxious contract you’ve unwittingly written evolve slowly and uncomfortably into a relationship. Find shared interests and common ground like sushi and folk music. Build an impenetrable bastion upon that ground. Make it sacred. Retreat into it every time the air gets stale or the evenings too long. Talk about nothing of significance. Do little thinking. Let the months pass unnoticed. Ask her to move in. Let her decorate. Get into fights about inconsequential things like how the fucking shower curtain needs to be closed so that it doesn’t fucking collect mold. Let a year pass unnoticed. Begin to notice.

Figure that you should probably get married because you will have wasted a lot of time otherwise. Take her to dinner on the forty-fifth floor at a restaurant far beyond your means. Make sure there is a beautiful view of the city. Sheepishly ask a waiter to bring her a glass of champagne with a modest ring in it. When she notices, propose to her with all of the enthusiasm and sincerity you can muster. Do not be overly concerned if you feel your heart leap through a pane of sheet glass. For that matter, do not be overly concerned if you cannot feel it at all. If there is applause, let it stagnate. If she cries, smile as if you’ve never been happier. If she doesn’t, smile all the same.

Let the years pass unnoticed. Get a career, not a job. Buy a house. Have two striking children. Try to raise them well. Fail frequently. Lapse into a bored indifference. Lapse into an indifferent sadness. Have a mid-life crisis. Grow old. Wonder at your lack of achievement. Feel sometimes contented, but mostly vacant and ethereal. Feel, during walks, as if you might never return or as if you might blow away on the wind. Contract a terminal illness. Die, but only after you observe that the girl who didn’t read never made your heart oscillate with any significant passion, that no one will write the story of your lives, and that she will die, too, with only a mild and tempered regret that nothing ever came of her capacity to love.

Do those things, god damnit, because nothing sucks worse than a girl who reads. Do it, I say, because a life in purgatory is better than a life in hell. Do it, because a girl who reads possesses a vocabulary that can describe that amorphous discontent of a life unfulfilled—a vocabulary that parses the innate beauty of the world and makes it an accessible necessity instead of an alien wonder. A girl who reads lays claim to a vocabulary that distinguishes between the specious and soulless rhetoric of someone who cannot love her, and the inarticulate desperation of someone who loves her too much. A vocabulary, goddamnit, that makes my vacuous sophistry a cheap trick.

Do it, because a girl who reads understands syntax. Literature has taught her that moments of tenderness come in sporadic but knowable intervals. A girl who reads knows that life is not planar; she knows, and rightly demands, that the ebb comes along with the flow of disappointment. A girl who has read up on her syntax senses the irregular pauses—the hesitation of breath—endemic to a lie. A girl who reads perceives the difference between a parenthetical moment of anger and the entrenched habits of someone whose bitter cynicism will run on, run on well past any point of reason, or purpose, run on far after she has packed a suitcase and said a reluctant goodbye and she has decided that I am an ellipsis and not a period and run on and run on. Syntax that knows the rhythm and cadence of a life well lived.

Date a girl who doesn’t read because the girl who reads knows the importance of plot. She can trace out the demarcations of a prologue and the sharp ridges of a climax. She feels them in her skin. The girl who reads will be patient with an intermission and expedite a denouement. But of all things, the girl who reads knows most the ineluctable significance of an end. She is comfortable with them. She has bid farewell to a thousand heroes with only a twinge of sadness.

Don’t date a girl who reads because girls who read are storytellers. You with the Joyce, you with the Nabokov, you with the Woolf. You there in the library, on the platform of the metro, you in the corner of the café, you in the window of your room. You, who make my life so goddamned difficult. The girl who reads has spun out the account of her life and it is bursting with meaning. She insists that her narratives are rich, her supporting cast colorful, and her typeface bold. You, the girl who reads, make me want to be everything that I am not. But I am weak and I will fail you, because you have dreamed, properly, of someone who is better than I am. You will not accept the life of which I spoke at the beginning of this piece. You will accept nothing less than passion, and perfection, and a life worthy of being told. So out with you, girl who reads. Take the next southbound train and take your Hemingway with you. I hate you. I really, really, really hate you.

Charles Warnke

***

How beautiful? Also, I have read A LOT in my lifetime, and I am a qualified high school English teacher, and even I still had to pull out the dictionary (ok, I lie, I totally clicked onto dictionary.com) to find the meanings of quite a number of words in that passage. But doesn’t it feel good to learn new things?  And that’s what reading is all about. Learning new things, every single day.  When you feel you have read everything and that you know all there is to know, well, then I’m afraid you might as well just admit that your life is over. Now go read a book and buy your kid a library card.

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