what’s the plan, stan? what we’re up to at the 2013 knysna oyster festival

So this time next week, my friend, Tash Clarke from Raising Men and myself will be preparing to jump off Bloukrans Bridge. I KNOW. But other than that, we will be eating and drinking ourselves out of our jean pants at The 2013 Pick n Pay Knysna Oyster Festival. I’m so excited I could pop.  I’m SO excited to meet Tash (how tall are you really, poppet? Do I need to purchase some of those retro-revived platform tekkies?) and this week is all about resting in preparation for the big week ahead of us starting on Monday. And also: I just found out today that my little brother will be coming up to Knysna from Cape Town on Friday night – which means I’ll get to see him for the first time since February! He is apparently running the Knysna Cape Times Half Marathon. Nope, not the 10km, the half. Which is very brave and I’m glad I’m not him. Actually hold up, I’m the brave one – I’d do a marathon over a bungee jump any day of the week. But let’s digress from the bungee and take a look at what other awesome activities Tash and I have in store for us:

A lot of KOS. Good kos. I’m talking lunches at the Tobasco-selected hotspots such as The Dry Dock Food Co. and 34 South, where I’m pretty sure we’ll be drinking some yummy vino too. You know how I am about my wine. I’m not sure if Tash can keep up, but good god, I’m pretty confident she’ll try. The Dry Dock has three floors of space to accomodate your ever need, but I’m gunning for the deck (as seen below) to soak up the rays of sunshine. Man, I’m hoping for sunshine. Except on bungee jump day. It can pour all the angels on Day 3.

How amazing does that all look? Did you see the size of those oysters? Oh, MAN.

On day 2 we also get treated to lunch at 34 South which is “not exactly a restaurant… not exactly a bar… definitely not a deli… well, not exactly a deli… it’s an eating place, a drinking place and definitely a meeting place. And it’s a gift shop, a clothing emporium, a food store, a fish monger and a bakery, too.  And the finest wine shop this side of the grape curtain.”  Whatever it blerrie is, it sounds amazing! Check it out:

I am salivating as we speak.  Other than these two fine establishments, we also get to attend and stuff face at the Knysna Wine Festival and Night Market, where some of my most favourite wines in the world, such as Ataraxia, Stellenrust and Waterford are going to be on offer.  My husband is turning green as he reads these words (sorry, my love!).  If you’re in Knysna you should totally come – you get to sample all the most delicious wines in South Africa, receive a keepsake tasting glass, wine guide and you get a taste of the finest delectable Belgian chocolate, Côte d’Or, upon arrival – all for a R100 a ticket!  Tash and I will definitely be moving on over to the gourmet food stalls for some snacking, live entertainment and shopping after all our sozzling.  Also, we will be taking up the offer of reasonably priced shuttle services to get us home safely, because we totes don’t want to crash our rental car on our second day at the festival.

We also get to attend the Knynsa Pick ‘n Pay Flavours Festival (could I be anymore in my element?  No – no ways) on the evening of Day 3.  This is the day of the bungee jump, so Tash and I will either be dead, or on the most massive high EVAR.  I’m going with massive high.  If we were dead, the Knysna Oyster Festival would be in BIG TROUBLE.  There will be fifteen local restaurants in attendance, all displaying their signature oyster dishes. YUM.  I love a bit of healthy competition. I’ma taste all of them and tell you whose was best.  There will also be more wine tastings.  There is going to be SO much food there, that if you don’t shmaak oysters there will guaranteed still be something else for you to nosh on.  I can’t wait for this evening!

Besides all the wining and dining, we will be doing zip-lining at Wildwoods Tree Adventures at Timberlake (nope never done that before either – should be fun), some tandem paragliding in Sedgefield (thank god for the tandem – I know this will be AWESOME), a jump off the bridge-which-shall-not-be-named, a visit to the Knysna Elephant Park (I have been before and loved it – can’t wait to go again), a township tour, a cruise through the Knysna Heads, a visit to an organic village, as well as to other local food and design markets.  I don’t think this week could be anymore jam-packed with radicalness.

To stay updated with our adventures in Knysna, follow Tash on Twitter: @Raising_Men and read her blog Raising Men; follow myself on Twitter: @midlandsmusings and Instagram: @kezbainborough, and of course, keep checking up on this blog.  We’ll be taking photo’s, hashtagging and tweeting the shizness out of the Knysna Oyster Festival! Hope to see you all there!  You should be there.  All the cool kids are going to be there.  And by cool kids I mean the Durbanites with an affinity for wine, food and pushing themselves to new limits. Hashtag OysterFest, TabascoHotspot, Big5, Knysna.

To see the full list of events for the week, click here.

a blogger competition and taking the leap

This weekend was my first solo wedding weekend.  My boss took the long weekend off and I held down the fort at Netherwood.  It was a pretty successful weekend – I survived the long hours, drunken wedding guest advances, the mandatory bumps and hiccups (such as searching in the dark in a spooky office on the other side of the farm at 9pm for a round two-point plug) and, thankfully, NOTHING BURNED DOWN.  In the midst of this long working weekend, something amazing happened.  It started on Friday, when Tash over at Raising Men tweeted about an awesome competition for bloggers with Getaway Magazine and the Knysna Oyster Festival.  I have always wanted to go to the Oyster Fest – you know how much I love oysters – I mean, my blog author image from the beginning of Midlands Musings was this one of me and a big plate of oysters (and champagne):

Tash had me at oyster, and so I hopped on over to theGetaway blog to take a look.  The prize looked absolutely amazing – five days accommodation, passes to wine and food festivals, oyster shucking, wine tastings, market visits…. oh, and a mandatory BUNGEE JUMP.  Case closed.  I’m so scared of heights that I’ve actually become accustomed to doing the walk of shame, though crowds of smirking kids, back down the stairs from the scariest waterslide at uShaka Marine World.  Laugh all you want, kids, I know my limits.  So I sent Tash this:

Haha, Tash was gunning for a co-pilot from the beginning.  And I totally played along.

And so the banter on Twitter continued, until eventually I succummbed and entered.  With people like Natalie Roos, Natasha, Kirst from The Jolly Jammer and Kayli Vee all entering too, I knew I stood no chance.  But enter I did.

The idea of the two of us going together escalated and soon we had support from some of our readers and fellow bloggers on Twitter saying they’d love to see us both go on the trip.  Even Miss Roos gave us her stamp of approval:

By Friday evening I was panicking and regretting my entry.  Just the thought of maybe winning and having to jump off Bloukrans was making me hyperventilate.  Tash reassured me that there was no way either of us would win and that they would definitely choose Natalie or Kayli.  On Saturday morning, I was pretty confident that there would be no bungee jumping happening in my future, so when Tash messaged me to say that SHE had in fact won, I was super happy for her, a little envious, I won’t lie, but mostly massively relieved that I would not have to jump off the world’s highest bridge anytime soon.

And then:

Heart stopped.  Sick to the stomach.  Sweating palms.

Somehow we Tash had convinced them to bring me along.  There was congratulations, well-wishes, lots of screeching and even a mention of a video…

So yes, in exactly two weeks, I will be heading off to Knysna with my favourite blogger for a girls’ week of oysters, wine, play and THE JUMP OF DEATH.  I’m dealing with this impending bungee jump thing the same way I deal with most things that scare the shit out of me: by ignoring it and focusing on the fun stuff instead (Hotel! Food! Wine! Travel! Tash!).  I will worry about it when I’m standing on the edge of that bridge.  I will close my eyes and pray that the adult diaper I’m wearing is tight enough.  And then I will jump.

Stay tuned for more information on our upcoming trip, our itinerary and all things Knysna Oyster Festivalish.  Hope to see you there in the first week of July!

Keep updated by following us on Twitter and Instagram and stay tuned to our blogs, as well as the Getaway blog, for more information, funny stories, a little wining and dining and probably a whole lot of screeching!

Tash – Twitter and Blog

Kez – Twitter, Blog (you’re on it, obviously) and Instagram

Images: courtesy of Knysna Oyster Festival

the blogger challenge

A couple of weeks ago, I was invited by the lovely Tash Marais to participate in a blogger challenge along with these other super cool bloggers (who are so way out of my league – but thanks for including me Tash!) Che DYER from indieberries, Natalie Roos from Tails of a Mermaid, Natasha Clarke from Raising Men, Celeste Barlow from Reluctant Mom, and of course, Tash herself from Dear Me.  We all sent Tash a specific word, and her little boy Noah put them in a hat and drew out one word for us all to write a blog post on.  The word chosen was: FIRST (which was my word – BOOM).  So here is my take on first… once you’ve read it, pop by the other blogs and check out how the other lovely ladies did interpreting this word.  Tash, once again, thanks for including me in this fun challenge – may it be the first of many. X

>>>>

The first year of marriage has been described as the toughtest year of them all.  Funny how no one told me this before I actually got hitched.  After the engagement and before the wedding, everyone is all “ah enjoy this special time together, it goes so fast, appreciate every moment”.  This is sugarcoat language for: once you’re married, shit is going to fly, darling.  It’s only AFTER the wedding that all your married friends begin to tell you that your first year of matrimony is probably going to be really hard and resemble something like smelly doggypig balls.

So far (as in two months and a bit of marriage, and not having even gone on honeymoon yet) I can say that yes, things ARE a leeeettle different once the ring is on that finger.  Small things that you used to let slide – nah-ah-ah!  No longer. You will put your socks in the washbasket, buddy.  You will help me unpack the dishwasher and don’t you dare speak with your mouth full or slurp that coffee like a toothless bergie.  You see, becoming a wife is a bit like becoming a mother – except that you’re trying to housetrain a grown man.  It’s hard work, dude, and it results in a lot of whining and nagging.  No wonder us wives have such a bad rep.

Think about this: before you got married, you tolerated all the little annoying traits, because you didn’t want to tempt a fight for no reason, which could possibly have resulted in him up and leaving your heartbroken ass.  But once you’re married you have to come to terms with the fact that no matter what, he ain’t going nowhere.  For better or for worse, bitches.  This can freak one out a bit – which is why you start frantically picking on his every wrong move, because god forbid you have to live with the dirty socks on the floor or loud slurping for the rest of your life.  Faaaaak.  You want to sort it out quickly, nip it in the bud, SHUT THAT SHIT DOWN.

But… a wise woman told me something once which will stick in my brain until death do us part.  You are not your lover’s mother – and neither are you his babysitter.  If you were, he wouldn’t be with you, obviously.  So as much as you want to scold him (or gauge his eyeballs out) for leaving his clothes lying on the floor, or putting an empty carton of milk back in the fridge, or not putting the toilet seat down – try and bite your tongue (yes, it might bleed).  I KNOW THIS IS HARD. I really, really do.  But when you’re about to blow your top off and put arsenic in his coffee, stop.  Breathe.  Breathe again.  Close your eyes and remember the first time you ever laid eyes on him.  Remember the first kiss, the first time he told you he loved you. Remember the first time he said he would like to spend the rest of his life with you.  Remember the first time you stayed up talking until the early hours of the morning.  The first time he did something that you knew would mean he’d make a good dad one day.  Remember the first time he cooked you a meal, and how proud he was of it.  Remember the first time he saw you when you walked down the aisle.  Remember how his eyes lit up and how proud he was to be marrying you.  Remember your vows.  Remember your first night as a married couple.  Remember the first time he called you his wife, and how your heart wanted to burst sprinkles of happylovejoy all over the place.  If you can remember all these firsts, every single day, the dirty dishes won’t seem like such a disaster and neither will the pile of smelly clothes next to his bed.  If you can remember all these firsts, every moment of every single day, your first year of marriage should fly by in a happy blur.

If not… I’d advise hiring a really good maid.  And using his money to pay for her.  All’s fair in love and marriage, isn’t it?

One of our first pics together ever.  How can I nag that face?

And our first kiss as a married couple – can’t nag a man who kisses so passionately either.  And I really do love him – dirty socks and all.

oh baby

Settle down mom, this is not an announcement.

I recieved a text the other day from a very good friend of mine, Nicole – the beautiful Pocahontas-like one below:

It read: “I hope you are sitting down, because I need to tell you something.”

Now, Nicole and her boyfriend, Andy, have been dating for quite a while – waaaay before my Andy and I had ever even met, and (her) Andy told me a couple of months ago that he would be proposing to Nicole this year. So, obviously, I was all like:

“You’re ENGAGED?????? Please say it’s so!!!”

And she was like:

“Haha no…  Andy and I are 9 weeks pregnant!!!  Well more me than Andy. We are super excited and happy!  We’ll get engaged freakin’ soon.”

So after I had got over feeling like a bit of a tit for making such a quick assumption (I mean, she could have been telling me she had won a trip to Italy and was taking me with), my first feeling, other than joy for them, was disappointment.  Not because I’m disappointed in them (I know that they’ll make the meost beautiful parents and most beautiful babies), but despair that Nix would be going through the process without/before me.  I had had it in my head that Nix and I would be pregnant together.  I knew that her and Andy would be getting engaged soon, and married probably by the end of the year and then Nicole and I could have babies together in the next year or two.  But now my planned mommy-friend/partner had jumped the gun.  And I’m not ready to catch up to her (believe me I have thought about it, though: “ok, if it happens now, my baby will only be two months younger than her’s” kinda thoughts).  I still need to go on honeymoon in May (no one wants to be chundering everywhere on honeymoon, or not be able to drink), and we are also planning a big skiing/snow boarding trip in February next year with a big group of friends, so having a baby or being pregnant would probably not suit either.  But then when has a baby ever “suited” anyone?  As my wise mother says (ah, what is a blog post without a wise mom mention), “you are never ready for a baby, even if you think you are.”

I have been reading a lot (well actually, the entire blog, from start to finish) of mommy blog posts over at Raising Men, written by the beautiful Natasha Clark, which have also made me feel pretty broody – I mean have you seen her kids?  No?  Here they are:

I know.  Gorgeous.  (And I’ve always thought I’d prefer a little girl, but these lighties are slowly swaying my judgement on little boys.)  I just love Natasha’s style of parenting, she (seems) rather relaxed and the kids are not wrapped in cotton wool and made to be perfect – they are dirty (in the good way), fun-loving, ice-cream-eating, plastic-bike-riding kids – just like we used to be.  Natasha is also in her late twenties with two kids, which also makes me envious.  I really thought I would have my kids young, like my mom and all my aunts, but thirty is just around the corner (the 2015 corner) and, YES the clock is starting to tick.  The scary thing is, that I feel like I am still a child.  I mean, I don’t have a mortgage yet.  I’ve only made three roast chickens in my life, and despite having a god son, I have never, EVER changed a nappy.  I sometimes forget to eat.  Nine months of no wine scares the shit out of me.  Not to mention the marriage-kids issue. I have such a phobia of divorce and kids.  If Andrew and I had to get divorced (God, forbid) with no children – it would be so much easier to just take our individual belongings, say goodbye, and never see each other again.  Having children with a person connects you with them for life.  As much as some people like to disregard this, it’s A FACT.  You need to be friends and be on good terms with that person forever if you hope to raise your children to be relatively sane, likeable members of society.  My parents are divorced and I would never wish it on any child.  Yes, they’re probably happier now – but let’s not deny it: every child wishes that their parents still loved each other enough to live together and play happy families.  I would like to think that if Andrew and I ever had to have children and then get divorced, we’d be mature enough to remain great friends and good parents, but you never know.  Shit happens – other people happen, things change.

So that’s what I’ve been wrestling with lately.  Too much thought doesn’t help, though – I guess, as with most things, we just have to trust the universe, god, buddha and allah that life will unfold as it should, that children will come when we’re ready, and whatever happens, we will all be alright in the end.

But seriously, I even have a list of baby names.  If any of you hack into my iPad notes and steal them, I will find you and I will cut you.

Images: Source, source

*** Congratulations to Andy and Nicole again on their little bambino news – you guys are going to make the BEST ballies.  And Andrew and I will be there to spoil and babysit :) ***